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Every wipe will be a piece of artMy wife is a music teacher. She put this up in her classroom.I love my daughter to bits but her hid and seek skills suck.Correlation vs. causationAggressive hearseNoticed this on my receipt at the bar yesterday.NO TIME TO EXPLAIN, GET IN THE JEEP!                        
                    Every superhero has their weaknessWell That's embarrassing..."If this makes it to the front page, I'll shove an egg up my ass."Today is my coworker's last day. She told me I could have her family pictures.Happiness for everyoneIm still on holdI've finally used my degree!Some random person dialed the wrong number and started facetiming me while I was in band. This is the future.This was the parking at my local community college this morning...Puberty in a nutshellFor Sophisticated Wine Drinkers OnlyGaa! Gravity shift!The best troll on earth.Captain Jack Sparrow's words of wisdomWhen summers coming but you can't afford a hatYellow card. Excessive celebration.This guy's business card is better than yours.From left to right: The Rollercoaster, The Pre-Sneeze, and The Most Interesting Baby in the World.My wife moved my pillow while making the bed and this crawled about six inches invoking a scream, she quickly grabbed her slipper and killed it, then put on her reading glasses, grabbed a napkin and got a good look at the spider.(x/post pics)